Tips For Raising Children When “Co-Parenting” With An Abuser.

Photo by Pavan Trikutam on Unsplash

While sometimes you can’t go “no-contact,” you’ll still need to cut off as much contact outside legal necessity as possible.

There is an app called “Our Family Wizard” and others like it that serve to provide alternative communication that is healthier than phone, e-mails, or texts. Several parents that I’ve spoken to have said they had success with it, and it did help with mitigating the abuse.

These apps leave little room to engage in abusive behaviors that would otherwise be happening using other methods of communication. Almost everyone already knows about the “gray rock method,” which is a style of communicating that is said to derail abuse and violence through bland, non-inflammatory language. Regardless of whatever avoidance techniques you set up, you’ll have to work hard to “train” yourself how to put up walls in your mind as you develop healthy boundaries to block the person and dodge any attacks that come your way.

Have a Plan A, Then B, C, D, E, F, G, H….Z. in regards to your children. Whatever happens, do not reach out to the other parent for help if that’s at all possible. They will see this an opportunity to step back into the picture and ruin your life and the life of your child even more than they already have. Don’t leave any holes or gaps open that will give the other person room to get through to you.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the most important part of this difficult issue: raising the children and making sure they are taken care of as best as humanly possible.

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